Posted in L<3VE, My Words

To The One I Want To Let In To My World

My mind is not an easy place to understand. Even I get confused by it at times. One second, I’m as happy as can be, and the next, I’m curled up in a ball and wishing it could all be over.

I put a smile on my face for other people. I laugh at their jokes and thank them for their compliments. Sometimes, I really mean those smiles. Other times, I don’t. Some days it’s hard for me to even function. It’s difficult to put a smile on my face, to talk, to even count properly. It’s like a fog has formed over my head and it’s preventing me from living a normal life.

I don’t like showing that side of myself. My favorite ‘me’ is the Sarah that laughs and jokes around and doesn’t have a care in the world. Depression doesn’t even cross her mind when she’s in one of these positive moods. I love that Sarah.

To the person I am with, you are starting to see the Sarah that I don’t like. The one with the fog. The one with the bad attitude. The one with the horrible jealousy. I don’t want you to know her, but you’re starting to and I’m sorry.

I want to explain to you what exactly is going on in my head, but it’s hard for even I to understand. I want you to know that I do care about you, so much and that these moods that I get in are only temporary and they’re not a reflection of how I feel about you. I want to show you how much I care. I like you so much. But on these down days, when it’s hard to even think properly, I need your help. Your support. Your love.

I know I can’t get that though without letting you in. You have no idea what’s going on in my head and that’s my fault. I’ve been refusing to tell you.

But my God, I want to. I want you to understand. I want you to know this side of me. I want to let you into my world, the good and the bad. Please tell me you’ll stay once I’ve done that.

Please stay.



Hello world! My name is Sarah. Pleasure to meet you. I am a college student/writer/makeup lover/travel enthusiast. Take a peek into my life..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s